Jonti Searll of Tantra Evolution
""I’m 28 years old and single. I’ve had a few relationships, the longest was three years."
"I’m 36, divorced, not seeing anyone"
"I’m 32, married, my husband doesn’t know about this. I don’t think he’d understand it"
"I’m 29, I’ve never had a relationship. I’m terrified and excited. I don’t know which one I feel more, but I’m doing this"
"I’m 52 divorced, had a terrible sexless and loveless marriage. I’m healing myself"
"I’m 42, my husband has given this to me as a gift, he can’t wait to hear about it"
"I’m 36, we’re very open and he’s coming with to share this amazing experience with me"
"I’m 48, so excited about this adventure I can hardly breathe"
"I’m 32, brought up in a religious home that stopped me doing so much. I need to change so many things about me. This is definitely the biggest step I’ve taken"
"I’m 45, discovering a sexuality that woke up and took me by surprise. I’m going to tell my husband afterwards"
"I’m 38, there’s a group of friends waiting by the phone to hear about this"
"I’m 40, healing body issues"
"I’m 56, curious"
"I’m 36 and I’ve been reading about this and thinking about doing it for so long, I finally found the courage"
"I’m 42, from the moment a friend told me about this I couldn’t think of anything else, couldn’t wait for the right opportunity"
"I’m a wife, a mother, a professional…"
"I work part time.."
"I’m an artist, in finance, in travel, a homeopath, a student, a credit controller, a PA, a doctor, a librarian, a boutique owner…"
"I’m English, Afrikaans, Jewish, Greek, Indian, Russian, Christian, Black…"
"I heard about the wonderful work of Jonti Searll through a confidant of mine, who had attended an Expanded Orgasm Workshop that was facilitated by him.
My friend was happily sharing with me how he feels the sexual aspect of his life is better at the age of sixty than ever before! And by contrast, I expressed my concern that my libido was at an all-time low. Despite being fifty-two, I haven’t started menopause, plus I have a happy marriage, with a caring and affectionate husband, and yet, I had lost all interest in making love.
It’s not just one-sided, because my husband is very busy and under immense pressure at work. By the time he comes home, his energy is spent, and both of us end up watching television together or reading. Even on the weekends, we enjoy the company of friends or carry out chores, rather than taking time to be intimate.
On top of that, for many years I have been focused on spiritual development and have spent a large portion of my days working on my self, in order to grow both mentally and emotionally. My efforts have paid off, in that I have reached a stage, where the most recent theme has been: “MY LIFE IS A CELEBRATION!”
However, I felt that I would just be more complete, if I could somehow reclaim or integrate my sexuality into my spirituality…”
"I met Jonti and sometime down the line over the course of a few months it led us to talking about the benefits and business of sexual therapies and how they can and will benefit our life both as an individual and together as a couple. He sent me a message asking if I would like to be involved with the filming of a DVD focusing on the benefits and practicalities of sexual therapy. He suggested a full body massage to see how my body and I react to a specific treatment. Obviously intrigued and very interested in experience this for myself I agreed. We decided to get together. "
Even though many of the women who’ve shared their feelings, thoughts and experiences were happy for their names to be told, I’ve kept everybody anonymous.
Although I teach men, women and couples, almost all of the massage I do is with women.
They’ve ‘introduced’ themselves, but I’d like to tell you a little more about them.
They’re like you.
They’re all beautiful in my eyes.
They’re adventurous or shy.
They come from all walks of life in every way possible.
They are the spectrum of women in the world.
And you’re all beautiful.
It’s never easy to describe experiences, particularly ones that have the depth, power and complexity of Sensual Massage.
As much as I can talk about these , the women, who have shared in these, speak with such power and truth, so I have shared their testimonies here…
This is an expression of the beauty and power of Sensual Massage.
It’s about the experiences.
I wrote it to share this beauty.
To de-mystify Sensual Massage.
For women like you to share their experiences.
For you to know that you’re no different in your desires, your anxieties and your dreams.
To make this accessible to everyone.
For many people, an experience of this nature requires a mind shift, sometimes a big one, a leap into another world.
When we have safety, when we have a sacred space and purpose, this becomes easy and possible.
For me, Sensual Massage is a sacred gift.
It’s a journey, a prayer, an act of worship to the Goddess lying before me.
The Massage is one of the highest expressions of sexual and sensual energy. As much as it’s a physical experience, and oh yes it is!, it’s also as much an energy, and often, a deeply spiritual experience as well.
I’ve been doing bodywork for more than 25 years.
The journey began with a basic course in ‘Swedish Massage’, simply to explore touch.
I was studying psychology and in the 1st year course there were a lot of touch studies, what happens to babies that aren’t touched and cuddled and adults that don’t get affection. This fascinated me and I wanted to learn more about touch.
So off I went to find massage lessons.
25 years ago South Africa was a very different country, there wasn’t the proliferation of massage courses that there are today.
I ended up at a Beauty College.
I had to go at night, being at university during the day.
I couldn’t learn with the girls show were studying beauty technology, so I was in my own room, had to beg some friends to come and be models for me to practice on. They all thought this was really strange, but a few agreed. One even said he’ll come if he could bring a book, so for the entire massage lesson he lay on the table reading.
I wanted to learn, so if there was a body there I was happy.
I grew up in a family that was very affectionate, there was a lot of touching, nudity was never an issue, so I was always comfortable with bodies.
I had no idea what to do with this knowledge. I really enjoyed it, felt natural, right, connected to massaging and touch. I took whatever opportunity there was to do massage, hands, feet, backs, whatever…
From the time I was a teenager I realised that there was more to the world than just the physical. This was no more than a vague notion that eventually fell under the labels of energy and spirituality.
Sometime during that fist year at university there was an exhibition on sexuality. They showed a movie called Caligula, the story of a Roman Emperor. The movie featured top actors with explicit sex scenes. Before this they showed a few documentaries of what was happening in the world of sexuality, including interviews with some Tantra teachers.
A switch went on inside of me, a recognition of something that I didn’t really understand, but knew this would be part of my life.
After that first course I went to everything I could find involving massage and touch. I did courses in Stress Release Massage, Sports Massage, Shiatsu, Therapeutic Massage, Esoteric and Energy Healing, Breathwork, you name it I did it.
A few years later I came across Kinesiology, which fascinated me. I didn’t understand it, went back to learn more until I did, then got hooked and studied it for 4 years. The gym I was a member at was remodeling, I went and asked them to build me an office to do sports massage, which they did and I went on a very, very quick learning curve.
I specialized in sports massage and kinesiology for injuries and pain, worked with athletes and dancers for more than 10 years. I became a Kinesiology instructor and taught sports and injury massage.
I kept coming back to the connection between the body, the mind and spirit.
And I kept coming back to sexuality.
I had whatever sexual experiences I could, simply being fascinated, or to be more honest, obsessed with all aspects of sexuality.
There was nobody around to teach me anything close to what I wanted to learn, even clinical sexology was in its infancy. The clinical route never appealed to me, I simply saw it as too limiting.
Most of what I learned was through experience, some amazing, some that shook me to the core, challenged every aspect of myself, my self-definition, what I thought I knew about sex, sensuality, relationships, life and love.
What came out of the experiences was a knowledge and understanding that no teacher or books could ever give.
To this day I am constantly learning, expanding the knowledge and understanding I have, which is one of the things that make this journey so exciting and challenging.
There came a time when I realised that there was nothing else I wanted to do but work with the magic of sexuality.
I had no idea what that really meant, but I announced that that’s what I was doing and jumped in with both feet. I quickly saw that I didn’t know nearly as much as I thought I did, how wide and deep and, yes, how wild in every way, the real world of sexuality was.
I walked a line of fire nearly every day for a good long while learning so much.
There is a lot that I did on the path that I would do differently knowing what I do now, that’s simply and deeply human, that we learn from our experiences.
At some point on the journey I came across the work of Anthony De Mello, an incredible thinker and teacher.
In a piece he wrote about selfishness he talks about the fact that we’re brought up to believe that selfishness is bad. In truth, everything that we do, no matter how charitable or altruistic, we’re getting something from it. If we can see this, see what it is, we’re able to raise the interaction to a very high level. Obviously, this excludes anything at the expense of someone else.
I thought about this in connection with what I do and came to see that it allows me to express so many parts of myself, of the gifts I have, the knowledge, understanding, information, in a way that nothing else will.
Everybody has certain talents and gifts.
This is one of mine.
And each day of sharing is a celebration that fills me with wonder and gratitude.
When I write about myself, it’s an expression of what I’ve come to believe is important in Sensual Massage, the principles I work with and teach in my lessons and classes.
As much as this is about the way I massage, I believe that all Sensual and Tantric Massage should be like this.
More than that, I wish that every woman, and man, could have an experience like this at least once, feel loved, pleasure, feel whole and feel beautiful.
The space for Sensual Massage has two elements, the physical and emotional/energy.
The physical has many aspects, it can be simple or ornate.
The emotional and energy space is simple, and at the same time very complex.
The simplicity is that the space is an expression of me, of what’s inside of me.
If the emotional safety is there, it allows a woman to fully let go to into the absolute possibilities of healing, pleasure and expansion that the Massage offers.
This means being clear on who or what I am in the space.
"I had no idea what to expect when I was on my way to my first appointment, filled with a mixture of slight nervousness, and excitement. My friend had only re-assured me that Jonti has a wonderful way of putting people at ease.
Well, that’s true! He is very gentle and non-threatening, with a relaxed manner that quickly allows one to get comfortable and talk easily about things that one doesn’t normally have the opportunity to discuss so openly.
As if the comfort and serenity brought about by merely being in his presence is not enough, the prospect of a sensual massage from Jonti sends waves of eager anticipation throughout my body, mind and soul.
Jonti has a way of making a woman feel at ease. His touch so natural and loving that I know I am in a safe space in which I can surrender completely, a place where I can truly open up.
I had no knowledge of what to expect but decided to be open to the experience. I found his whole approach calming, relaxing and supportive. Everything was done with respect.
After I finally worked up enough courage to make contact with Jonti and schedule a massage, the big day arrived. I got to his studio, the formalities took a few minutes (awkward first time introduction etc), and I found myself sitting on the massage table. We spoke for a while, and after I had more insight about what Tantra was about, and what he was about, I felt comfortable enough to share what it was that initiated this journey I was about to embark on.
On the day I arrived for my massage, I felt very safe in my self, and I knew exactly what I wanted for my self. Jonti supported this by the clear intentions that he set before he started to work with me. He creates and manages to hold a very sacred space, in which it was possible for me to be completely relaxed and vulnerable in my womanhood, with the trusting innocence of a child.”
This is an experience of deep intimacy.
So I’m there in a way as your lover for the time of the massage.
A sacred lover to give you a gift.
When I open my heart to the intimacy of the moment, it allows you to do the same, and this intimacy is what allows so much to happen.
I’m there to give you the highest, deepest, most pleasurable, most healing experience I can.
I offer all my understanding, all my knowledge and experience to you.
I offer the gift of my touch to you.
I’m connected to you.
I’m connected to your energy, reading it, following it, releasing it, guiding it, teasing it out of hiding, welcoming, it, guiding it, enhancing it…
I’m present with you.
Giving pleasure in this way is sacred gift.
Acknowledging that within me allows me to give more.
Acknowledging the love I have for women allows me to connect from my heart.
That’s what creates the safety.
Because more than anything else, the massage is an expression of love.
These are the principles of Conscious Sensuality, an expression of Tantra.
They create a different space for us to explore and grow in.
The combination of the physical, emotional and energy elements create a fabric that surrounds the Massage.
It’s almost mystical.
And it allows for magic to happen.